Wot I Think: Two Point Hospital

0 DAVID GODSTIME September 01, 2018

Developer: Two Point Studios
Publisher: Sega

Release: Out now!
On: Windows, Mac OS X and Linux
From: Steam or direct
For: £24.99, $34.99, €34.99

One of the many malicious maladies that can befall your patients in Two Point Hospital is ‘8-bitten’. You’ll know when you’ve got an epidemic on your hands, because you’ll start to notice dozens of low-res, pixel-stricken ill flickering about your corridors. To treat them, you’ll need to research and build a Resolution Lab complete with Debugger. As with many of your accomplishments, the local radio will inform the people of Two Point County of the new advancement. “Patients are promised” drones a pitch-perfect parody of every radio host ever smushed up together in a partridge-esque, play-doh monstrosity “they’ll feel totally next-gen”

There’s a subtle, almost sarcastic reluctance in these words. A weary, wry sigh from the Bullfrog and Lionhead vets heading up Two Point Studios. Good natured, but with just a hint of sardonic self-awareness at the oddness of strapping down a twenty year old comatose classic for a thorough defibrillation. If it is reluctance, though, you wouldn’t know it from playing Two Point Hospital. It’s been given a fresh coat of paint in most of the places that count, but as someone who grew up with Theme Hospital, sitting down with this excellent game (viewed by many as a spiritual successor to Theme Hospital) was just like reuniting with an old friend. Who I then infected with flu, killed during treatment, sucked their ghost up with a Hoover, and charged them a few grand for the privilege.
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